Monday, June 6, 2016

ANGER MANAGEMENT


I'm angry, and I don't really care what they say...
I'm angry, nobody better get in my way...
I'm fightin, I'm bustin, I'm poppin
I'm caught up in a rage, man somebody better stop me...
I'm hatin', I'm pushin', I'm shovin'
Somebody better get me 'cause I'm 'bout to do somethin'...
I'm angry...


~Lecrae, "Anger Management"


"Your mother has kidney cancer. She is very weak from her other conditions and chemo will do more harm than good; basically it would kill her. We suggest that we just keep her comfortable and let it run its course."

They may as well have signed her death certificate right there; she was already dead in their eyes. No need for any further investigation, explanation or exploration. It doesn't matter that she had the same scan that revealed the cancer, just two months prior and they didn't catch it then.

Doctors suck.

You entrust them with your life and the life of your loved ones. You trust them to use their knowledge, education, skills and abilities to give you the best care. But instead they only treat symptoms without being concerned about the origin.

Do I sound angry about it? I am and I really don't care what anyone has to say.

If I wasn't sure that my mother's time on earth was done; that she was tired of struggling and hurting and baffling her doctors, this anger would eat me alive.

I am confident my mom is having a ball with her road dog and sister Shirley. I'm convinced she has a lot to say to her sister Brenda Jean because she had been calling out for her in her sleep for months. And hopefully reunited with her first born son, Corey. My mother is no longer in pain, is walking straight up with no assistance and has placed that oxygen tank down for good.

Doctors may play god, we may treat them as saviors but they are merely human beings who mess up on their job just like I mess up on mine. But God, He is the only one who can truly heal; whether it is on this earth or in eternity. Only He gets to say, "It is done." Because of that, it is well with my soul. That's how I manage my anger.