That he had to give to show me
That I need to be responsible about how I live
I won't complain about my pain
But I just ain't gone let my ni**as die in vain
So Bean I'm gone make it for you
The cycle that these young black men keep goin through
I'm gone break it for you
And start takin care of me
And me consist of all my friends and my family
From now on, until I'm gone.
"I Didn't Ask to Come" by Goodie Mob
February 9, 1995
Bang. I awoke to a loud noise. Dazed, I stumbled out of bed and looked out my bedroom window. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary and my mother's car was in the driveway. As I continued my survey of my surroundings, I peaked in my brothers' room to find it empty but fully lit. Then, I searched for my middle brother; I found him looking out the back door. "What's going on?" I asked. He assured me it was nothing and led me back to my room. As we passed our parents' room, it appeared my dad's side of the bed was flat. "Where is daddy?" I asked. "He is in the bathroom. I'm sorry mama and daddy." he said as he closed their door. He told me to go back to sleep.
Awhile later, I heard a car pull into the driveway. I looked out the window in time to see my parents exit my mother's car. We all gathered into the dark living room. "Your brother was killed in his apartment in Montgomery." my dad informed me and my brother. God must have been guarding my heart when I thought I had seen all those things.
A few of my family members and I traveled to Montgomery, AL to attend the parole board hearing for the person convicted of murdering my older brother. The State of Alabama gave the victim's family the opportunity to speak as well as the convict's family.
I felt indifferent about the situation. My brother was dead and this wouldn't bring him back. But as we waited in the victims' room, my indifference had begun to dissipate as I heard the convicts' supporters calling down the heavens on behalf of their loved ones. I'm all for redemption, forgiveness and all that good stuff, but I had no sympathy for them. I wondered whose prayers God would answer.
The convict's sentence was extended by the maximum amount allowed by the law. My nephew who was three months old at the time of his father's death, testified that the convict should stay in jail for as long as he is without his father. And my brother is still dead.