Wednesday, April 24, 2013

10 Questions Every Single Woman Should Ask on a Date

          

            

 

 

 

 

            

 

 

 

 

 

Dating is a serious sport. You must be prepared and in shape before you hit the court or the field; stay ready because there will be no time to get ready.

            

             As I always say, I can't afford to waste energy, emotions or time on any relationship that I don't think can last forever. So, I've come up with some preliminary yet essential questions to ask before investing too much time into a situation.

            They are not necessarily listed in any order of importance. . .


1. Are you married and/or do you have a girlfriend? You would think this wouldn't be necessary because obviously a man that is attached would not try to "holla" at anyone else. Not!

2. Does anyone think they are about to marry you/think that they are your girlfriend? I learned to ask this question when my ex tried to get back together with me when his "friend" had already picked out their wedding date.

3a. Are you divorced? Being separated and/or living apart does not count even if it has been several years.

3b. If you are divorced, may I see the papers, please. No? What county were you married in, I can find them myself.

4. Do you have any children?

5. Does anyone think you are the father of their child?

6. Do you currently have a seed in utero? This is important because someone may say no to #4 because they believe life begins at birth.

7. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with another man? I learned in an AIDS awareness class that it is better to describe behavior than to attach labels.

8. Are you a liar? Of course you will probably not get a truthful answer but it is good to see how they react to the question (also true for #7 and the following question).

9. How do you feel about men who like to try on women's clothing?  This is not a judgment but it is need-to-know information. I met a guy who eventually admitted that he liked to wear women's shoes because they were more comfortable.

10. Have you ever been incarcerated?  I asked this question as a joke but the answer wasn't funny.


 

What are some questions you would add or remove from this list?  Share them in the comment section below or on my Facebook page (Alison S. Moore) or send me a Tweet (@msasmoore).

Sunday, April 21, 2013

What A Man



My nephew-son is growing up. I refer to him that way because I feel like I've had a hand in raising him. See my nephew's father who is also my eldest brother died when he was just three months old.  

My nephew's mother, who has also become my big sister has done and is doing a fantastic job raising him. I assure you that if you were to meet my nephew you would agree whole-heartedly. Nevertheless, the old adage, "It takes a village to raise a child" proved to be true in this case considering all the support she has from his grandparents on both sides, aunts, uncles, and cousins.



About ten years ago, a young man entered my nephew's life through a romantic relationship with his mother. Even though that relationship didn't last, that young man is still in my nephew's life to this day. 
 
This young man was the first one at the house yesterday to see my nephew off to his senior prom. He helped my nephew pick out a tuxedo, he fussed over him, fixed his collar and straightened his tie as he got dressed. After giving my nephew some spending money, he had a long talk with him as they walked to the car. I wish I knew what they talked about. . .


God has provided WELL for my nephew. He hasn't lacked not ONE THING. Though no one can take the place of my brother as his father, thank you for being a father-figure to my nephew. You are truly my brother-in-law. I pity any man, woman, child, or evil spirit that may try to break this bond or tear this modern blended family apart.
 
This post is dedicated to all the good men out there raising another man's child for whatever reason. This also includes my other brother who takes care of his current wife's daughter as well as his ex-wife's daughter as his own.

Do you know of any men like the one's mentioned in this post? Give them a shout out in the comments section below. Let's encourage our men and let them know we appreciate them!!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

I PUT ON FOR MY CITY








I PUT ON FOR MY CITY. . . AND MY STATE



Yes, I am proud to be a native of Birmingham, AL despite it's shameful racist past that still lingers in the present. I am proud of the African American story of how we made it over. I am a proud Southern Grit- girl raised in the South.

             When I started college in Atlanta GA, many of my classmates from the North were astonished to hear I was from Alabama. Constantly I heard, "you don't look like. . . speak like. . .act like. . . you're from Alabama!" Also I heard variations of "When I think of Alabama, I think of. . . overalls. . .red dirt. . . and bare feet.

             I can not judge. I heard a lady say that out of all the places she had lived in the United States, Arizona was her favorite. Her admission raised concern and confusion in me. "But Arizona doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to race and immigration," I pointed out. Simply she replied, "Yea, neither does Alabama." She said it plainly; not in an accusatory or sarcastic way. Point well taken. That reputation doesn't keep me from loving my hometown.
            
The year 2013 marks the 50th Anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement in Birmingham, AL. The city has events planned throughout the year to commemorate. Last night I attended one of those events. It was a play based off of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Letter from the Birmingham Jail" and how the same issues he spoke about in that letter are still prevalent today; not just for African Americans but for the disabled, the elderly, homosexuals, and minority religions.

             I arrived late and as I sat down the lights dimmed and images of children marching in the streets with fire hoses and dogs turned on them flashed on a screen. No, this wasn't a scene from a neighborhood block party with hamburgers, kids running through the sprinklers and playing with the neighborhood dog. This was high pressure water knocking down underdeveloped bodies and dogs gnashing their teeth. Why? All because of a peaceful demonstration requesting equal access to water fountains, lunch counters, buses and waiting rooms. Did the punishment fit the perceived crime?


Maybe it wasn't a good idea for me to see this play. I wasn't in the mood for getting all worked up, emotional, and disturbed in my spirit. Then I had a little talk with myself. I told myself I didn't have to get angry. I could choose not to. I could just take it for what it was and accept that there is still more work to do and still. . .

PUT ON FOR MY CITY. . . AND MY STATE.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Not a Death Sentence




















From time to time, I invite others to share their gleaning experiences her at thegleanse. Meet Jeralyn Powell, a kindred spirit and an awesome woman of God! She is "the truth" because the truth of God's Word dwells in her!
 

 
“I found God in myself and I loved her…I loved her fiercely.” Ntozake Shange
You know sometimes you hear something, but you aren’t really listening? The first time I heard this beautiful quote from Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf”, it was just another line in my script for me to memorize. But if I had to put a time frame on it, I was probably at the beginning of my depression.
            
Depression??? Me, a girl from a good background with very loving and supportive parents and extended family? Me, raised in the church not just out of tradition but out of true relationship? Me, with my “good hair” and “good head on her shoulders”? Me with (insert whatever other quality you think negates people from having mental health issues)? I know, SHOCKING right? Actually, it’s really not, according to the numbers. It is said that 1 in 10 adults suffer from depression. I’m not talking about a bad day, but an uncomfortable heart wrenching pain coupled with unexplainable behavior and uncontrollable emotional responses. A diagnosis didn’t come until 3 years later and even then it was hard to accept. I accepted it, dealt with the stigma and endured the pain. But thanks be to God for healing and restoring me!  

As I thought about what to write, Shange’s words came to mind. Because in the midst of my brokenness, God met me and I began to transform into the woman He designed uniquely in me. Then, I began to love her, fiercely. It is my desire that more women discover their true identity in Christ. In that vein, over a series of posts, I will offer pieces of my story as encouragement for someone who may be going through a similar (or not so similar) journey and the people who love them to understand their plight. I pray that my words be helpful, but that God will lead you to your own road for recovery and reconciliation.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A Writer's Story







My blog posts have been few and far between lately because I have been feeling so uninspired and underwhelmed.


thegleanse is still trying to "find itself." Maybe it needs to drop everything and go backpacking across Europe, open a wilderness store or become a farmer like others have done in an effort to "find themselves."


I believe in only writing when I have something to say; not just because I have a self-appointed schedule to maintain. I don't want my work to feel forced or contrived.



Maybe the uninspired bit is a cop out for "artistic types." I should just sit at my computer until the words come to me; eventually they will. I know they will. So that is what I am going to do; at least for today.



I've always had a passion for writing and decided to make it a reality in 2008. I was inspired by the USA Network's t.v. drama, The Starter Wife. Debra Messing's character, recently divorced from her studio executive husband, pursues her dream of being a writer by finding a writing group to be apart of. I thought "there must be a group like that in Birmingham." Haphazardly, I stumbled upon Women Writing for (a) Change during an internet search and my first Christian fiction novel,

. . . and you win some was born.











If you haven't had a chance, check out an
excerpt

from the book. It has gone through so many revisions over the years after receiving feedback from many different sources. I promise it will be available soon to purchase in hard copy and ebook form. This is a self-financed endeavor so I work as the funds become available.


It is currently going through the copy editing process with a professional after all of my layperson eyes have given me their feedback. Every author needs an editor, I firmly believe that.


I can't wait for you to meet Daniel, Wynsome, Michelle, Jodie and the other compelling characters in this funny, intriguing, and thought provoking book.


Keep checking back at thegleanse for more updates and more excerpts, ya hear! Oh yea, tell me in the comment section what you think about the book cover. . .