Monday, May 6, 2013

Breaking the Silence

 From time to time I invite other gleaners to share here at thegleanse.
Welcome back Jeralyn Powell as she bravely shares the second installment of her yet untitled series. . .

 "Silence is easy to misread. "

~A. A. Attansio

Some things are better left unsaid….right? But, truthfully, I wasn’t always comfortable or open about my depression. When I first thought this was really serious, I told people on a need to know basis. I was ashamed of not being able to control my emotions and felt solely responsible for feeling the way I did. More than anything, though, I couldn’t predict how the person would react. When I finally decided it was time to get some help, I didn’t know who to talk to or how to describe what I was feeling. All I knew was that something was wrong and the mask act wasn’t working anymore.

A month later, a physician officially diagnosed me, wrote me a couple of prescriptions, and told me to continue with my counseling sessions. What should have brought relief only brought a much heavier load. I had waited a month to be sure it wasn’t just a thing. Now, I had to face the truth. So I told the people I hoped would love me through anything, even this. I wish I could tell you that everybody was supportive, but I would be lying. Stigma is real and people generally are ignorant in what to say to a person going through depression. My friends and family (those who knew) and I all learned how to deal with the illness. In the end, my admission was the first step towards my healing.

In my silence, I would still probably be hurting. In my silence, I did more harm than good to myself and to other people around me. It’s true what they say - hurt people hurt people. Because I chose to be silent about my sickness, I lost friends, broke promises and missed opportunities. Now, I am making a different choice because too many people suffer in silence. I am choosing to break the silence so that you or your loved one no longer has to suffer.

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