Wednesday, November 20, 2013

You Don't Know My Story

 
You don’t know my story
For if you did you would lift up your hands
So just let me tell you
By faith you may as well break out and dance.
                                                “Life and Favor” by John P. Kee
 
When I was on my way to a doctor’s appointment before work one day, this song came through the speakers of my car. Before I knew it, I was raising my hands, weeping and singing along.  It hit me. The realization of how far I’ve come, hit me un-expectantly that morning.
 
You don’t know my story
You don’t know the day He set me free
You cannot imagine
The strongholds and the walls that severed me
 
I went through a period of about a year and a half of severe depression. I’ve been told by many people I have nothing to be depressed about. The bottom line is no matter how you look at my circumstances and lifestyle, my negative thoughts about myself were killing me. You don’t have to understand it just know it was very real to me.
 
In all God has been faithful to me
He promised He would never leave me
My story proves that God can use me
Deliverance is my testimony
You don’t know -- my story!
 
Strangely, I started to gradually get better after one of my friends committed suicide. I don’t know what he was struggling with, he kept it well hidden. Frankly, I never discussed with him the severity of what I was going through. After his death, I was inspired to live my life with purpose.
 
With the help of a therapist and medication, we developed a plan to get me well. That plan included the blood of Jesus and getting rid of negative thought patterns. It took time but I am better now. I still struggle but now I have the coping skills to make it through the struggle.


You don’t know my story
The anguish and the guilt that consume me
Grateful I can tell it
For no more shall the shackles condemn me
 


I’ve wanted to tell my story for a long time but I’ve been hiding behind my contributing blogger, Jeralyn Powell because she is braver than me. What was I afraid of? Airing my dirty laundry, worrying about what people would say and think about me and afraid of being treated differently at work.


In all God has been faithful to me
He promised He would never leave me
My story proves that God can use me
Deliverance is my testimony
 


There were many days I couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed in the morning and go to work. But now, but now, I have self-published a Christian fiction novel that I started writing in 2008. Because my God never left me and He kept me, I wrote a book y’all! I finished a book y’all! By the grace and mercy of God I have favor and life. The fruit of that favor and life can be seen on Amazon! You don’t know my story! I still can’t stop crying tears of joy when I think about it. You don’t know how hard it was for me to get to this point.


I’m delivered, here’s my story
Life and Favor upon me He brought me out
You don’t know it, let me tell it
Life and favor upon me He brought me out

God of mercy He who loves me
Life and favor upon me He brought me out
Oh how wondrous is my story
Life and favor upon me He brought me out
 
 
 
 

14 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your story Alison! This is by far my favorite blog post from you and I am so happy for you. Love you friend. :)

    Amber

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  2. I am glad you are not afraid to share..Thank you

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    1. Thank you all for the encouraging words. I'm glad I broke the silence and have received so much wonderful support. I want my blog to be meaningful.

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  4. Alison, thank you for sharing your story. It will be very helpful and inspiring to others. Many struggle with depression and are afraid to tell anyone for fear of what they may think. It takes courage. I too have dealt with this in the past. I am very proud of you for stepping up to share your story and what you've been through. It is lovely to watch how God continues to reveal how He is with us throughout our story each and every day, on every page.

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    1. Thank you! Only God gave me the strength to share.

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  5. "Because my God never left me and He kept me" <-------- Amen amen amen!

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  6. Happy 2014! What an awesome testimony. Thank you for sharing your story and your praise!

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  7. You are awesome for sharing such a private story! I hope you have an amazing New Year and many blessings

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  8. Southern Girl community is so supportive. I'm so glad I ran across it!

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