Tuesday, July 22, 2014

How Many B*tches. . .

Dear Ms. Deloris Tucker

 keep stressin me

 f*ckin' with a muthaf*cka's mind

 I figured you wanted to know

 you know

 why we call them h*s b*tches

 and maybe this might help you understand

 it ain't personal

 strictly business baby

 strictly business

~Wonder Why They Call You B*tch, 2Pac

My last blog post expressed my conflicting emotions about rapping alongside inappropriate lyrics at a concert held at an old church. That tête-à-tête sparked another internal debate.
The “B” word; I hate it. I’m not talking about bossy, bling or Beyoncé. The “B” word I am talking about is now used interchangeably with woman, lady, or girl. Not to mention, the FCC has determined that it is okay to use on public radio and daytime television.
I understand that some women have reclaimed the word so that it no longer has a negative connotation. I have not jumped on that bandwagon. I still cringe when I hear the word; I do not feel empowered when people use it.
Unfortunately, some of my favorite artists use the word in their songs.
Feeling nostalgic, I have been listening to 90’s Southern rap on Pandora lately. Admittedly, I overlook the derogatory word if I like the song well enough. That is discriminatory, right?
How can I judge? How many B*tches is too many? Two, three? Do I judge it by tone or context clues? Should I stop listening to all of it? That would be like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
How do you feel?


  1. I thought about this post last night when I was at the park with my six-year-old daughter walking my dog. There was a woman there in a t-shirt that parodied Dr. Seuss' creations "Thing 1" and "Thing 2". It said "Bitch 1." I had so many reactions, and all were negative. First of all, she was pushing an infant girl in a stroller. So, maybe her child can't read yet, but mine can. And the little boys at football practice can. I don't want any of them to see that word. Also, does this imply that there is a "Bitch 2?" Like a second woman for a man? My daughter loves puns and parodies - she's like me and appreciates when something is clever. If AJ saw this, she didn't mention it. I ignored it. I did not think it was clever. It is bad enough that it's now an "OK" word to use on TV, but I don't want my kid using it. I wanted to ask the lady, "Do you not have any self respect? Even if you are a bitch, why would you advertise it?" I appreciate the Tina Fey/Amy Pohler "bitches get stuff done" comment, but why wouldn't you just think up other words if you feel the need to describe yourself. Some better ones could even be: opinionated, headstrong, productive, uncompromising. Even princess, selfish, or "horrible person" would have been better than b*tch. That's a DOG. A female dog. You are not a dog. You are a woman, and you should respect yourself.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! It makes me feel so good to know my words are provoking thought and discussion. I agree, instead of taking back the word, let's create a word that is better fitting and captures the essence of who we are. It is nothing positive about that word.